Inside My Pain Pt. 2

Things that should not but yet happens to people in life, and Life will always bring you to a place to tell your story!  Some do, and yet, many don’t.  Everybody doesn’t get to be a “World Known” celebrity and get the opportunity to tell their life story of their pain, however, the pain is just as real and it happened.

So now, you get to be your own celebrity and your “World Stage” is a “WordPress” or one of the other writing avenues where you get to let the world know that you are here and that your life matters and that yes, your pain is there and you are letting it out that maybe it will help someone else release their pain and save a life.

Many have committed suicide because of the indescribable pain that they faced day-to-day and they didn’t have the freedom or someone to share because of the embarrassment; the guilt, the shame, the self-condemnation and whatever other lie is there condemning them.

If you are in pain, I am attempting to walk you to your stage in life so that you can tell, and the operative word is “TELL” your pain through sharing and bring freedom to your soul so that you can live a healthy and productive life.

Many now are sharing their pain from what happened to them by a celebrity.  Had these people found a way to express without shame what happened, many would have been brought to justice long ago.  But, I got some good news for you.  Life is not all about the celebrities. You don’t have to be defined in life by nothing other than what YOU choose.

God gave you life, now go live it and be the best that you can be with a clear heart and soul.



Inside my Pain, Part 1!

Excerpts from my book, “When Siblings Don’t Bond”!

Many people blog about their hobbies in life or the many white picket fences or “Brady Bunch” lifestyles that they have and they want to be surrounded by the “Universal Law of All Positive Energy”.

While I respect that, there are many that are living in the opposite energy and hopefully through expression they can come up out of that dark sided energy and into the light.  I know that society teaches us to “shun” things that appears to be opposite to where  you are in life, but if as a society we continue to do so, we lose a lot of beautiful people because no one is willing to offer a hand of help to them.

Many people experience pain in life on so many levels,  I just happens to be one of those people!  We are prone to “cover up” our hurt while those that causes our pain continue to live and enjoy their lives and no one is the wiser to who they really are.

One, of a few names, that these people can be called is a Narcissist.  By definition Narcissists do not necessarily hurt people because they enjoy it; they hurt people to fulfill their disordered psychological needs. …

What does it means to be emotionally hurt:

“Psychological pain or mental pain is an unpleasant feeling (a suffering) of a psychological, non-physical, origin. A pioneer in the field of suicidology, Edwin S. Shneidman, described it as “how much you hurt as a human being. It is mental suffering; mental torment”

I decided to do this series of writing in an effort at getting others to express their feeling through writing.  I found this to be therapeutic as many times when a person is emotionally hurt, it is inexpressible in words as there is no utterance to get the words outside of the pain to speak them because you are a “prisoner of your pain” and therefore locked within it. Not to mention, you are constantly blaming yourself and trying to understand why you are not accepted by people that society teaches us  that these people are your family, your safety net, your protection!

For years I suffered in silence as I tried to bond with what I considered to be my “birth family”.  It was a useless effort and even at the age of 62, there is no bond. They never attempted it, and I finally at the ripe old age of 60 recognized that it was a useless attempt as there was no bond and gave us the effort.

There was no care as to how I felt when there was only isolation; for whatever their reasons were to treat you differently than the rest of them, no bonding at a “Family Reunion” or a “Family Wedding” or Funeral, and now they no longer bother to send an invite or to let you know of a “family member departure.

AND, these people will appear to be the most loving and caring human beings on the planet.  And so, their made up images shines bright because no one can see the dark side of who they are as a person.

So, through my writing, sharing my pain, I pray that others will catch on and do likewise and realize that, “this isolation had nothing to do with me” and that I am a great person worthy of life and living free from pain!


Who Are The Chosen People!

I’m just a country girl from the plantation in Grapeland, Mississippi with a 10th grade education and some subjects I just try to not speak about because I expect it to come from “Church Leaders”. But here it is 2018 and I hear everything under the Sun is being said other than what the Scriptures tell us about Who is God’s Chosen People. So, this subject in particular is about the, “chosen people and tribes of God” and the enslavement of them for 400 years. Many followers, that don’t even believe in the Scripture nor the Son of God, believel that they are these special chosen people of God. Jesus Christ was here over 2,000 years ago so at what point did the “400 years of slavery” begin? I know that Deuteronomy’s 28 Chapter on the “Curse” side is way over 400 years old.
I know that we all want to feel that we are chosen and special people. But, in order to be chosen and special it has nothing to do with the color of your skin but rather, “the content of your character” which is driven by the heart of a person.
I believe that the problem in the world today has nothing to do with the color of one’s skin. All of the hatred, and anger and every other ill emotion that is happening today is happening due to the heart of a person. If you had a loving heart you would not harm another living and breathing human being. Evil is ignited by one’s character and heart.
Cut out the hard heartiness of a person and you will have a loving and caring human being.
The Nation of people that God has chosen has no color and has His heart, which is a heart of love and kindness. If you look at another human and does not see a living being that God gave life to, then you are certainly not of that Nation of God’s chosen .
The scriptures tells us that God is looking for those that will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth and as The Lord Jesus Christ said, the Ten Commandments were now namely two, “To love the Lord Thy God with all thy soul mind and strength and to Love your Neighbor, another human being, as your self.
The Scriptures tells that we are a Chosen Generation, a Royal Priesthood, a Chosen Nation.  Jesus Christ delivered us all and it is up to us to walk in it!

A Reminder In Time

After a time of reflection from watching the movie on the life of Apostle Paul, I was reminded of the great length and depth of persecution that the first Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ suffered and the length and depth that they went through to get the “Writing” or the Bible to other believers so that everyone had an opportunity to learn about the Lord Jesus Christ and His followers .
AND, So I say, the next time you read on Social Media the thoughts of “unlearned people” that refuse to read this book and have it to be seen as nothing more than a “slave manual or a manipulated book of lies, be reminded of the innocent blood of men women and children that was tossed in prison and then some beaten and burned to death, while others were eaten alive by wild dogs and lions just because of what they choose to believe.
All of this and even more horror happened for the pleasure and entertainment of others. Their lives and beliefs were made a mockery of as if there is only one way to believe. Is there not a cost for innocent blood shed? Will everyone else escape such horror for what they believe? Only time will tell!
Hebrews 11:
36 And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment:
37 They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented;
38 (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.
39 And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise:


EVERYTHING we celebrate today, credit is given to the “Pagans”. From the first of the year to the last month of the year. Opinions run high on how it is wrong to do this because the PAGANS did it. It is hard to allow yourself to enjoy “Celebration Days” anymore because there are people trying to take the joy away by reminding you of the PAGANS. I call these, cheap and greedy people taking opportunities to be cold and bitter for a lack in their lives and to spread more bitterness, coldness, anger and hatred in the world. IF YOUR CONSCIENCE BOTHER YOU THAN YOU REFRAIN FROM IT!
The World is covered with too much darkness already, AND everybody keeps blaming God and Jesus for something that we are doing because of the hate. so what is wrong with spreading light and love in the earth.
Until someone, better yet, a Worldwide Decree, tells you that, “If you go to Walmart and Buy a box of Candy you must then kneel and worship, whoever the pagan’s name of the month is”, then you are worshiping the pagan god and sinning against the creator. But, if I go to Walmart and buy my grand babies a box of candy and to celebrate the day with them, the creator is not going to be angry with me about it. If I take that candy, call upon the name of the “pagan God” and say I offer this to you and I worship you for giving me the money to buy it and so I sacrifice this to you and then I am going to give it to my grand babies, then it becomes a sin. People, WAKE UP! EVERYTHING SOUNDS GOOD IS NOT GOOD. ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ALL YOUR MONEY AWAY BECAUSE OF THE GOD OF THIS WORLD’S SYSTEM OWNS IT AND YOU USE IT FOR YOUR PLEASURES, I.E., EATING, DRINKING, ETC. ETC.? I DON’T THINK YOU WILL. AND I’M SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE TO HANG ON TO IT BECAUSE IT DON’T APPLY TO YOUR MONEY.
The Bible tells us to love each other. It didn’t give us all the details on how to do it. God allows us to be expressive and just because the Pagans may have use expression to go against the Creator, that does not mean that everyone is doing it for the same reason.
Lets examine our hearts before we jump on the wagon on things that sounds good. Don’t be the one to rob the world of opportunities to show LOVE, KINDNESS, JOY or JUST GIVING the World a day to celebrate with families or those you care about.
Until we are doing something to dishonor the True and Living God, it won’t stop Him from loving and caring for us and He wants us to do the same for each other!


My Shared Gift As A Believer.
I hear so much about the wrong in celebrating Christmas. If we want to govern our lives about what is right vs. wrong there is so much to dwell on and so many “select” what they consider to be important enough to do or celebrate.
Let me say it this way.
My Shared Gift As A Believer.
I hear so much about the wrong in celebrating Christmas. If we want to govern our lives about what is right vs. wrong there is so much to dwell on and so many “select” what they consider to be important enough to do or celebrate.
Let me say it this way.
Here in North Carolina I have witnessed over the years that if one person on Monday puts out an announcement that they will be selling chicken pot pie on Sunday, on Tuesday another person in the city with a “name” that is known throughout the city will put out that on Friday they will be selling chicken pot pie.
The first person had the original idea but the other person saw that it was a great idea so they put it out as their original idea and so on Friday people went and ate and talk about how good the chicken pot pie was and that it was a wonderful idea and they should keep doing it.
So, the credit for the creation and selling of the pot pie did not go to the original creator but to the other person that saw that selling the pot pie was a great idea. Such is the story of everything that God did in Creation, Other men came along behind the original creator, took the truth out of it and put in some what seem more believable to the common sense realm and put all of those ideas in place, which was nothing more than ” stealing” from the original creator and many gullible people fell and still fall for it as if that is the truth and these people try to force this idea on the people that believe what the original creator did.
There are so many “comparable” stories that tries to eliminate the SON of God. People are always willing to put God, the Creator and only Father of all down on their level. It is so easy to believe in all of the other “stories” that make SENSE to you than to believe that THE Creator could have a Son of however way he chooses to allow him to be born into the earth, be unjustly killed, rise up on the third day and go back to His Father.
We can believe that the SUN died and came back to “Life” and all the other tales out there but we can’t believe that The Creator created the original. Every Season there is a copy to take away from the original, similar story but only one can be true. Why? Because we have to believe that we are in control!
Open your eyes people, LIFE is so much BIGGER than the stories MAN create and created as they attempted to “steal” stories from THE CREATOR.

Will A Prediction Come True… Will There Be A War In America?

It is 4:00 a.m., on a Sunday Morning, October 15, 2017.  I sense a compelling urge to write what I am feeling.  

The voice of a minister echoes in my ears.  In the late 1980s and early 1990s a White Pentecostal Minister made several predictions.  The prediction that echoes is the one that was made while the minister was standing in a large Black congregation in the city of Charlotte, North Carolina.  His prediction was that, “The next major war coming was going to be a Race War in America”.  It stunned me while I was sitting there with my family, however, I managed to shake it off thinking, “that can’t  happen”, but still put it off to the back of my mind and throughout the years, especially recently, I have thought of it often.

In the day that we are now living in, it is not so far-fetched to believe that it is a possibility.  All it takes is the wrong fight at a protest between the Black Lives Matter Group and the KKK’s or a Neo Nazi group.  The wrong Police shooting of an innocent victim.  The wrong misunderstood comment from the President of the United States of America, just to name a few possibilities of how simple it would be to light the flames of war.

When people are “caught up” in their emotions, considerations for the end results of those emotions are not thought of in the heat of the moment. 

Are we really prepared for a war inside of America? 

We see the horror stories on CNN as other nations attack its own.  Babies, children and adults lying in their own blood.  Let me paint a mental picture for you.  Oh my God, are  you prepared for your neighbor, your friends, your co-workers, and in some case, your family members to now become your enemy of war simply because of the color of their skin?

Oh my God, can you imagine what it would be like watching precious and innocent babies and children being murdered and brutally slaughtered simply because of their color?

Will America’s rich land and beautiful waters turn red inside from the shedding of innocent blood once more, simply because of the color of someone’s skin?

Will this beautiful country be turned to ruins to pacify our pride and prejudices and arrogance?

Will the President of the United States of America go down in History and be remembered as “the President in seat during such a tragedy”?  

I pray that it is not too late and that the minister’s prediction can be changed, and if you are a believer in prayer, now is the time to pray and this is the prayer mandate, that God will change the prediction.

While it may feel good to get a point across, while it may feel great to feel hate and despite for another person, are you really prepared to see  your love ones and your generation and maybe even you, destroyed just so that you can feel good and justified in your feeling?

A battle happened once in America because this country was divided.  Will it happen again, may God forbid!

I pray that He change the lives of the people who gives themselves over to the evils of unjustified hatred for another human being that God created in His image regardless of color.

God created this world big enough for us all and He will NEVER allow one group of people to destroy his other children UNJUSTIFIED.

Does the slogan,  “Let’s Make America Great Again” really mean, Let’s Destroy America so That We Can Rebuild it Again, Brick by Brick?   May God have mercy on us and on the United States of America!

If Only We Could See Who We Really Are!

As I think on all of the controversy going on today about the truth of the Bible, God and Jesus, I reflect on all of the movies such as “King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, The King and I King George and the hundreds of movies involving Kings”.
And, I think of all of the Comic Book Heroes such as “Superman, Batman, Iron Man and so many more “super heroes” out there in print and movies.
And I dare not neglect to reflect on all of the Olympic “Gods” such as Zeus and Apollos, Ares and so many more. All of these fictions characters that gives us something to believe in and yet, many are seen to be real, and a few might be as in the case of the Kings.
All of these gives us hope to believe in something that is bigger and stronger than we are, a hope of believing in yourself that you can attain and do great things if you just believe in yourself.
May I suggest to you that all of these are a reflection of the true King and His Kingdom. All of these were “mirror images” to get your mind off of the true King of Kings and His Kingdom.
Where do you think the ideas or imaginations came from to create these characters? The Bible tells us that, “As it is in the natural so is it in the spirit”!
We can use our imagination to see these images of the true as dynamic beings but we refuse to accept the truth that, We were created by a Royalty Being and that WE ARE ROYALTY BEINGS BECAUSE OF HIM”.  We will say that God is everything but a King.  You will say that I am off my rocker for purposes such to you, but this side of the mirror is true even though we don’t believe it.
Jesus Christ came to show us how to be “Super Beings” in the earth but yet, we can’t even begin to imagine that such a thing can be so and we remain to be the creatures totally opposite to what we were created to be.  We are the only creatures created in His image and His likeness, but yet, we prefer to believe that we evolved from a “big bang”.  We are  not the ANIMALS that we pretend to be out of ignorance to the truth.
If you will read the Bible and as you read of the great King that created the Heavens and the Earth, then perhaps you will FIND YOUR PLACE on this side of life and into the life to come.

Let Me Introduce You To The King & His Son?

In order to understand God and His Son, you would have had to visit the Country of England during the rule of the King, and you would have the visit Africa during the time of the, “Cutting of the Covenant”.  You can still visit England and see the Royal Family in Rule and in Africa the Cutting of the Covenant can be explained to you.  Just as there are Kingdom rules in England set up by the King, there are Kingdom rules set up by God, and so since America is a “Free Will Country”, led by men that are chosen by the people, it is hard for Americans to understand the Bible, God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ, one of the name given Him for our benefit.

Revelation 1:5

and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth To Him who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood–

Revelation 19:16

And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name written, “KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.”

Deuteronomy 10:17

“For the LORD your God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God who does not show partiality nor take a bribe.

Before Jesus was taken in the Garden, He prayed a prayer to the King confirming that He had finished His work and prayed for them and also covered us to come for generations:

John 17Amplified Bible (AMP)

The High Priestly Prayer

17 When Jesus had spoken these things, He raised His eyes to heaven [in prayer] and said, “Father, the [a]hour has come. Glorify Your Son, so that Your Son may glorify You. Just as You have given Him power and authority over all mankind, [now glorify Him] so that He may give eternal life [b]to all whom You have given Him [to be His—permanently and forever]. Now this is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true [supreme and sovereign] God, and [in the same manner know] Jesus [as the] Christ whom You have sent. I have glorified You [down here] on the earth by [c]completing the work that You gave Me to do.Now, Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory and majesty that I had with You before the world existed.

“I have manifested Your name [and revealed Your very self, Your real self] to the people whom You have given Me out of the world; they were Yours and You gave them to Me, and they have kept and obeyed Your word. Now [at last] they know [with confident assurance] that all You have given Me is from You [it is really and truly Yours]. For the words which You gave Me I have given them; and they received and accepted them and truly understood [with confident assurance] that I came from You [from Your presence], and they believed [without any doubt] that You sent Me. I pray for them; I do not pray for the world, but for those You have given Me, because they belong to You; 10 and all things that are Mine are Yours, and [all things that are] Yours are Mine; and I am glorified in them. 11 I am no longer in the world; yet they are still in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, so that they may be one just as We are. 12 While I was with them, I was keeping them in Your name which You have given Me; and I guarded them and protected them, and not one of them was lost except [d]the son of destruction, so that the Scripture would be fulfilled.

The Disciples in the World

13 But now I am coming to You; and I say these things [while I am still] in the world so that they may experience My joy made full and complete and perfect within them [filling their hearts with My delight]. 14 I have given to them Your word [the message You gave Me]; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world and do not belong to the world, just as I am not of the world and do not belong to it. 15 I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but that You keep them andprotect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 17 Sanctify them in the truth [set them apart for Your purposes, make them holy]; Your word is truth. 18 Just as You commissioned and sent Me into the world, I also have commissioned and sent them (believers) into the world. 19 For their sake [e]I sanctify Myself [to do Your will], so that they also may be sanctified [set apart, dedicated, made holy] in [Your] truth.

20 “I do not pray for these alone [it is not for their sake only that I make this request], but also for [all] those who [will ever] believe and trust in Me through their message, 21 that they all may be one; just as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be one in Us, so that the world may believe [without any doubt] that You sent Me.

Their Future Glory

22 I have given to them the glory and honor which You have given Me, that they may be one, just as We are one; 23 I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected and completed into one, so that the world may know [without any doubt] that You sent Me, and [that You] have loved them, just as You have loved Me. 24 Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given to Me [as Your gift to Me], may be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, because You loved Me before the foundation of the world.

25 “O just and righteous Father, although the world has not known You and has never acknowledged You [and the revelation of Your mercy], yet I have always known You; and these [believers] know [without any doubt] that You sent Me; 26 and I have made Your name known to them, and will continue to make it known, so that the love with which You have loved Me may be in them [overwhelming their heart], and I [may be] in them.”

So take this and go back and read the Bible and see if it gives you better understanding now in light of all of this.

In His Name!

Make God Great In America Again!

As I look around and see all the violence and hear all of the “take America” back stories, I am reminded that there are so many Black Americans that loves the Lord and are His Children that knows how to pray and praise Him, and so I find it impossible that God would allow America, His Country that He created for the children of men, to belong to one set, not race (because there are good people in other races) of people that is filled with unfounded hatred for another person that God created in His image, but in His creativity decided to change the color of the men to various colors because He decided that there would be other races of people. He decided that alone, and so ANYONE that think or believes that He/they can change this country to be what they want it to be out of hatred is sadly mistaken.

If you remember the battle of the North and the South? History tells us that the South lost, because hatred will never win.  Hate may win a few battles, but it will never win the WAR!

This World was created by God and He have the Final Say SO!  Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So.  As a Black Believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, I have been redeemed twice. I am redeemed by Jesus Christ and I say so and there is nothing that can be done to erase that!  

If there is a “Race War”, God Jehovah and His Angels will fight for the Black Race of people because He created us and He loves us regardless of whether  another race of people does! 

Satan, through his followers have been trying to annihilate the Black Race of People for decades, and He/They have failed and will always fail.

Even the forefathers set in to law that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL and just as evil men refuse to accept the Bible as God’s Word of Instructions, they also refuse to accept the Constitution and all other documents that were put in place to establish and maintain freedom and justice for all.

The Bible tells that, “whatever is done in the dark will come to light” and if it is spoken of in the closet, it will be proclaimed or heard on the housetop. So now that the heart of man has been revealed, men must now decide to either be an arrogant fool or change their hearts.

If There Is A Race War, Know that God and His Children will Win!

Which Side will YOU BE On?